Work Focus Shift from Submissive X to ALL Wrestling

I Need to thank everyone who has supported my wrestling projects. Evolved Fights Mixed wrestling has been doing well which has allowed me to personally fund the Lesbian wrestling site It is an honor to be able to produce projects that I am so very very passionate about. It is with great regret however that because these sites are taking up so much time and energy and focus that I will need to stop the production of my submissive X series. The series was a pet project of mine created to help get more work for the women I hired to top me while I had fun with friends. However, I do not foresee myself being able to run and operate any more than two sites at this time. With that said, I know many of you have been asking about TS WRestling. I will do some test shoots and see how well they sell, but in honesty, unless they make me 50k a month which will allow me to hire a separate director and webmaster just to run them and cover me for any legal liability, rent, production fees, etc., I can not start the 3rd site dedicated to TS wrestling. My time is tapped out between doing everything for the 2 wrestling site from start to finish. The sites do Okay but in no way do they allow me the luxury of being able to hire people to delegate work to. I have a webmaster who helps greatly but when it comes to doing the daily managerial work of being a business owner, filing taxes, getting insurances sorted and audited, keeping the studio maintained, booking talent, booking talent accommodations, making sure models test in time, editing videos, doing marketing, fighting piracy…the list goes on and on; that is done by one person…MOI.

I’m proud of my work and I would like to keep the paying fans and members of the site excited about the work so I will need to focus all my attention to it. I still do modeling for other companies as well. Being an independent self-booking contractor is a full-time job in itself. I need to weed through a ton of bullshit. Daily I get “booking requests” from people who just bullshit to get their foot in the door for a conversation with me. I seriously get a dozen people a week attempting to book me but it ends up being some bullshitter who did a bait and switch and just wanted to chat. This wastes my time, It makes me lose respect for the person doing this since they can’t respect my time and they are dishonest. Its gotten now that I only work with companies I have worked with before and know they will not waste my time. That in itself keeps me very very busy. Being Self-booking is a full-time job.

So here I am with 2 full time jobs as Talent who self books and as a producer who does everything from A-Z for her own company. I am cutting back on the Submissive X shoots. I will have few more come out since I have the shot already. I will take customs, If you want to write a story for a submissive X or any style really, email me a script and I will send you a quote…just know that if its XXX and I have to pay talent, the rates start at $1000 and will go up depending on how extravagant your script is. I dont’ do B/G work for customs…keep that in mind. Please email me if you would like to order a custom

Fires, Shootings and Stomach Flus

I had a hell of a week last week. I think the city I live in made national news first with the mass shooting in a Country Club near me. The coverage of this shooting fell to the wayside after a terrible Fire swept through a large part of Southern California and right into my town. The fires were devastating. Many of my friends lost their homes but gladly no more of my friends lost their lives. The tragedies brought out the best of some people and the worst in others. During the fires, there were mandatory evacuations and many people left their homes. Because the nation was broadcasting that everyone had left their homes, many opportunists with malicious intent starting coming into the neighborhoods to loot the abandoned homes. I myself stayed home. Me and my family were able to help out in small ways by putting out the small spot fires that would start up from flying embers. We were able to put out these small fires before the hit the brush and ignited. Obviously, if we were looking at big fires coming at us, We probably wouldn’t have been able to do much. We had our cars packed up with valuable and whatever and were ready to leave at the drop of a hat if things got really hairy. It was strange to see what people thought was “important to pack”. For myself, I packed my computer, my hard drives, my legal documents a few changes of clothing and protein bars and water. It was hilarious explaining to my family that I needed to pack my hard drive of Porn. LOL. honestly, at the end of the day, I do still need to get my content up for the fans. Paying members in Germany really dont’ give a flying fuck if my house burns down with all my porn. Models aren’t going to reshoot for free because I lost the content in a fire. The world isn’t like that and the show must go on. “Save the porn” was one of the first things I thought. My family was busy backing knickknacks and memories. …….so this can give you an idea of how pressing the fire was in my immediate neighborhood but trust me a mile down the road, houses were burning down left and right….the neighborhood next to us is completely charred and gone. There wasn’t ” fake news” reporting red herrings. The fires and the shootings were real. I sadly have to say this because I have been reading so many conspiracy theories online. People are interesting. I don’t wanna get political on my porn blog but Jesus Christ some people are really fucking dumb.

So after the Shooting, we had the fires. After the fires let up, the freeways and roads were reopened and I was able to leave to go to my Studio in Las Vegas. One side note I would like to make here: I do post a lot about Las Vegas because my Studio is in Las Vegas. I do not nor have I ever Lived in Nevada or Las Vegas. I get so many people writing to me about my living in las vegas. I don’t, sorry. I have been actively looking for a house there but I’m currently waiting for the market to crash in 2 years for the greedy bastards in Las Vegas to drop their shitty home prices…they think they live in New York and are charing NY pricing for some of their mediocre homes……I digress.  I was able to head into Las Vegas and I was greeted with a lovely stomach flu. I actually don’t know what it was. First I thought it was a bad reaction to too much smoke but then I started to vomit and then I thought it was food poisoning. Then Models I had in my studio said they got the same thing that lasted 24 hours. All I know is I slept for 18 hours and couldn’t even look at food without wanting to vomit.  I’m starting to feel better but I get boats of not feeling great. I am lucky to be back home so I can vomit in my own toilet. I have all my hard drives of porn and I will be editing and uploading the new content soon. I shot 2 submissive X shoots in vegas so there will be new Sub X shoots coming to my clips stores. Apparently, Clip4sales bans fisting so I had to edit out the fisting part in my scene with Nikki Delano. If youre not into fisting, get the video on Clips4sale. If you are into fisting, get the video on Manyvids.

Trailer for Halloween Update on Evolved Fights

hey guys, I’m being more active on my blog ( pats self on back and pretends like I’m some sort of important so you should think so too)  I want to talk a little about my update that will be doing live on  I have a match going up with Jenevieve Hexx and her real-life Partner, Racker. I have a confession to make here! Jenevieve contacted me ( after shooting for me on everything butt )expressing interest in shooting for my competitive mixed wrestling website. She said she had never wrestled before but she was really excited about shooting for evolved. She even wanted to shoot with her Boyfriend because she figured she would lose but wouldn’t feel so horrible if she lost to someone she loved. I was really hesitant to book her. She’s really beautiful and has such an amazing body, but I didn’t want someone who didn’t know how to wrestle to get injured on my set. I worry about these girls. I had no idea how big her BF was going to be but I still was worried. However, I figured they were a couple and knew each other well enough that they wouldn’t hurt one another. I booked them together and when they showed up, Racker arrived in all his splendor and I thought ” oh shit, the tiny little 5’3 girl is going to get clobbered on my mats”. I don’t want to spoil anything but I wanna tell you, Racker was simply awesome and Jen lied to me about never wrestling prior. Don’t let any of that sway you, however, this match was a 1pt difference. It’s the first time ever we had tied round(s). My confession that I mentioned is that I am just as guilty of prejudice and some of my viewers who can’t believe a tiny little girl can hold her own against a big dude. Jenevieve heXXX wowed me. She made me see what the untrained eye sees. I forget sometimes that viewers see things and get ideas in their heads about what the outcome would be. My being a small female myself, know all too well, that a trained female will destroy an untrained male. I can’t say she destroyed the 6′ man….but she definitely held her own against him. Please note: the images chosen for this post are made to showcase Jenevieve and her skill!



8 things you’re doing Wrong if you want to be Friends with Porn Stars

We will be entering the year 2019 shortly. Like it or not 2019, people are watching porn in public and proudly proclaiming their adoration for smut( Thanks for being caught watching Porn hub Kayne). Times sure have changed since I started in 2003 in the industry. I thank Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian for making “leaked” videos which launched them into stardom and made porn an open topic of conversation. I also thank the fact that people are resilient and after years of being oppressed by religion and peers, most of you saw past the bullshit, said, “I’m tired of these hypocrites” and, “fuck it! people are going to judge me no matter what, I might as well get some fun out of this life”. You owned up to your love of sex, porn, and awesome porn stars. You’re a human being and you want interaction. This is natural and how are you going to get it? You’re going to start watching porn because it is a great stress release, it helps you realize you are perfectly normal because you can see other people commenting and sharing the same porn that you like. Hell, you have a rapport with other porn fans now! you’ve found your home! Congratulations, you’re no longer alone in this world.  

“Congratulations, you’re no longer alone in this World”

Social Media has made it easier than ever for you to be able to reach out to your favorite star be it, athlete, actor, musician,  politician or porn star. Huge celebrities ignore you, however. They have too many fans to keep track of so any interaction you attempt to have with them falls by the wayside. Musicians ignore you, politicians give you nothing, actors don’t know you exist and athletes just want to fuck your girlfriend so they ignore you but privately DM your girl ( WHAT ? you know it’s true don’t act like it’s not). As you browse social Media you stumble upon your favorite porn stars and you see they are very active on their social media accounts so you want a piece of this action. You want that reward trigger in your brain so bad in the form of a “like” or a simple “Thank you” that comes from your favorite porn star. So how do you go about getting that? You’ve been tweeting them non stop for days now and now the worst thing in the world has happened. YOU’VE BEEN BLOCKED!!! how did this happen and how can you avoid it? Here is a list of thing you’re doing wrong when adoring Porn stars. Actually here’s a list of things you’re doing wrong when dealing with any person because, well frankly, pornstars are regular people as well.


1. Don’t send Dick Pics.

We get it, you’re proud of your dick. At any given moment you have 176 photos readily available of your member in every angle, professionally lit, and in every position possible. You are proud of your piece and you think everyone else cares about it, We don’t. Porn Stars see a lot of dick. Its our jobs to see dick. If you worked at a burger joint would you want people sending pictures of burgers day. You’re going to be so judgemental of their burgers when then send you a picture of them. You’re going to be like ” dude I know burgers and that burger you sent me a picture of is garbage….learn how to pack your meat properly before you send me this trash”….That’s exactly how people on the internet view your unsolicited Dick picks. On the rare occasion, you do get a girl on line asking you to see pictures of your dick, please note that you’re probably getting catfished but if you’re not, go ahead and send pictures if they are requested and ONLY if they are requested.


2. Never Call them By their Birth Name.

The quickest way to creep someone out who currently goes by a pseudonym is to call them by their birth name. Let’s face the facts, there are several people who do not go by the name on their birth certificate for one reason or another. I have a brother who has one name on his birth certificate but we never ever called him by his birth name. My mother made us all call him by a different name and that’s the name I know him as and THAT’s who he is. If any ever called the house asking for a guy with his birth name, I knew it was either a bill collector or some scammer, because NO ONE called him by the name on his birth certificate. So you assuming that your favorite star even ever went by their birth name immediate makes you look like a tool. It shows that you spent a good deal of time even looking that information up. The first question is WHY are you looking that information up? The second question do you think that knowing their birth name makes you special? If you were able to look it up, that means it’s not really special information that any Tom Dick or Harry could find. It doesn’t bond you with them. It’s not “insider” information. It’s “I took stalking to a whole other level by googling your real name so I can try to find out your record or address”. There is NEVER A REASON TO LOOK UP ANY CELEBRITY’S’ REAL NAME EVER. If by chance the celebrity wants to start going by their birth name for a month to get some PR, so be it. But if you know Madonna as Madonna, Call her fucking “Madonna”. Also, it’s never okay to ask the porn star if you can call them by their “real” name. I know you want to feel more intimate with them. Maybe you’ve shelled out thousands of dollar on their videos. I get it, you feel entitled but you’re not entitled to that personal part of them. You’re really NOT in a realationship with them. They are selling you a fantasy. If they want you to use their real name, give them the time and space to let them approach the subject with you. I have made many friends online who were fans of my work who I now tell them to call me my real name. Unless I tell you it’s okay to use my birth name, MY name to you is Ariel. And if you insist on emailing me addressing me with my birth name, you’re going to get ignored.

3.  Don’t ever ask if you can be friends 

 I’m not talking “Friends request” on social media, my meaning here is you already follow them or are “friends” on social media but you write them to ask them to be your friend in real life. I get so many of these emails and it’s the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like you’re in kindergarten and you ask someone in class to be your friend…what are we, 6? Think about your friends in real life and how you became friends with them. It happened organically. Maybe you were stuck in a class together for a year. You saw each other every day and eventually, one of you cracks a joke about the teacher and you instantly bonded. Or you work at a job and you see your coworkers every day. You don’t start out best friends but over the course of time you develop a mutual hatred for Barbara who works in accounting and you become friends because of your mutual hatred of that bitch Barbara. Fuck Barbara! Or maybe you play sports on a team and after trials and tribulations with your team, you have bonded with them and you’re friends for life. Or maybe you have no friends at all, that’s okay! nothing wrong with that because you’re awesome and you’re your own best friends. That’s the coolest and best friend to have because you’re not going anywhere and you’ll never turn your back on yourself. Again, that just happened organically. You didn’t have to force that friendship. You know they saying ”  if you have to force it, it’s probably shit” If you have to force a friendship on someone, it’s not going to work…move along.

”  if you have to force it, it’s probably shit”


4. Don’t ask them for favors 

I know, You want to know how you can get into porn or maybe you need to borrow $100  from this porn star because you know she makes money….. we all need a little help from time to time. What’s it going to hurt to ask for a favor the worst that can happen is they say “no” right. Well no the worst that can happen if you ask a complete stranger for a favor without offering anything in return and they block you and then you never get to interact with the person you claim to adore. Think about all the spam you get from the Saudi prince who needs your help so he can get money out of his country and all you need to do is deposit $10k into this offshore account so he can give you 300Million… it’s bullshit, it’s a scam don’t do it. And if it wasn’t a scam, would you help if the email said ” the prince needs you to give him $10K, that would be great if you could help” What the shit do you get out of that deal? Why don’t do you drop everything you are doing and help this asshole. There is no such thing as Altruism and you’re out of your mind if you expect people to help you for no reason. Even if they did want to do a good deed, they do it so they can brag about the good deed they did. Don’t argue with me on this, George Price proved we are all selfish assholes, I’m not being a dick writing this I’m merely stating facts. It’s been proven that if you want someone to do something for you, you are more likely to recieve help if you offer something in return.  So if you would like to get some tips on how to get into the industry  start out by offering something in return for example ” hey Ariel I would like tips on how to get in the industry, I heard you had a blog, can you send me the link so I can hopefully get knowledge from it and in return, I will promote the blog to get you traffic to your site. You see, I’m too lazy to use the search box in your blog so if you do the work for me, I promise to help promote your blog and send you traffic.” —-Ahhh… honesty about being lazy AND the promise to promote my blog…how can I resist helping this person out!!



5.  Don’t tell them you watch their stuff For Free 

The elephant in the room, let’s talk about it. Porn gets pirated, we get it. I assume most of you reading this blog have watched stolen porn or free porn. It’s this weird thing. Free porn does promote the models but for what purpose? It’s getting stolen and taking money out of our pockets. Getting Views on a tube site that doesn’t pay us does us no good. What’s the point of having 1M fans/views if none of those people are paying to see your stuff…. oh what , we’re infamous, we get to have  all the crap that comes with  being a celebrity, we get the harassment, the stalkers, the haters, the complainers all this without any of the glories of financial compensation? What the hell would we keep working for. Do you work for ‘Likes’ no…you work for money. Porn is not sponsored by social media, they do not pay us to be influencers and reimburse us for how many followers we have or likes we get or views we get. We are the mistresses of social media: they want us because we bring them traffic but they don’t want to admit they like cause their wives will not approve.  IF you do watch the porn for free, Don’t’ tell us, Don’t rub it in our face. That’s like me going into the apple store bragging about how I stole their product from Costco


6.  You’re not Valuing Their Time

time is the single most valuable thing we have in this life. It’s irreplacable and taken for granted. I’m going to echo what I just said. PORN STARS ARE NOT PAID LIKE ONLINE INFLUENCERS. WE GET NOTHING FOR THE NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS WE HAVE OR LIKES WE GET OR VIEWS WE GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Social Media tries to do everything in their power to keep us from being on their platform publically. The time we spend online is used to engage with who we want when we want, how we want. If you send us one reply to one of our posts, chances are it gets overlooked. Don’t write us 30 follow-ups, We will get to it when we can. Also if we do respond once, that’s not an invitation to write us a million times. We don’t have time to be pen pals with every single person who writes us. I’m a little torn on the next part I’m going to write here as I have heard so many arguments from both sides of the coin but this is the truth. If you want to interact with a porn star, The fastest, easiest way to guarantee he or she writes you back is to offer a token of appreciation in advance in monetary form. Sigh there I said it. I try my damndest to reply to everyone who writes me comprehensive things. If I can not make out what you are trying to say, I will ignore you because I assume it’s coming from a bot. Nobody has time for bots. I do get a TON of messages and I do try to get back to everyone. I appreciate the folks who pop in and just say ” hey just saying hi keep up the good word, that’s all” and I reply and they are content with the one response. It gets really difficult when I do respond and then the fan opens the portal of hell asking questions that I have answered 199878 times already in posts and the slue of questions keep coming in from them. They want minute by minute recounts of what’s going on in my life. I guarantee they would never treat someone they know if real life this way. When this happens I tend to “silence” these people. I know no matter how much attention I give them, it will not be enough and they will keep trying to suck more and more time out of me. I don’t have the resourced to dedicate to that, no person does. I believe that interacting with fans is a duty ( hehe I said doody) to interact and give the fans an experience to an extent. I also know time is valuable which is why I have MY redline of where I need to stop interacting unless I’m getting some sort of compensation. Each porn star is different on where they draw their redline but in general, if you offer to compensate them for their time in your first correspondence with them, they will be more likely to engage. This doesn’t make us assholes, its business. Do you go to your therapist and try to talk to them for free? do they talk to you for free? does your accountant talk to you for free? Chatting with a porn star fills a need in you to feel like you have some companionship. It’s a service. Some of the services will be free but when you want more and more of that service, there should be compensation.  Like any other business, time is money


“Like any other businss, Time is Money”

7. you’re basically harassing them; stop it.

#6 leads into #7 here. We understand that you are super passionate about porn but here’s the thing. There’s a fine line between being passionate and being a stalker so it’s best for porn stars to err on the side of caution because historically, being too nice has literally KILLED US. There are a handful of porn stars that have been murdered by adoring fans. I personally have had two incredibly insane stalkers and it is scary stuff. The sad thing is, the type of people who become this dangerous would not know they are the ones we are talking about. The stalkers tend to think the people they are infatuated with are mutually in love with them. They belive we give code messages to them. I had a stalker write me from 5 different email addresses, pretending to be multiple different people and in their emails to me mentioned how they got my code messages from tweets I was sending ( trust me there were no code messages being sent out). You can’t rationalize with crazy and for that, a porn star needs to keep an extra guard up. We need to “FUCK POLITENESS” and look out for our well being. So if that means we block you because you are acting rather strange, so be it. I can’t teach you how not to be crazy. Sorry, I don’t have tips on how to fix this other than…seek the help you need.



7.your intention is to get a date with them, Most likely it’s not going to happen!

Do porn stars fuck average joes? ABSOLUTELY!!! Many of the models escort and you may be able to hire them for a special night…you need to look up the laws in your areas, however, to stay out of trouble.  I’m willing to bet if you are in the US, most likely it will be illegal to pay for sex. I think that’s the stupidest law in the world, but I’m not writing this post to talk about bad laws.  Porn stars date and even marry average joes and janes. How we meet those people varies. Porn stars get many offers for guys who want to hook up. I’m not going to lie, there are some girls who are really THAT horny and will fuck anyone who asks ( GOD I LOVE THEM FOR THAT, THE FACT THEY EVEN HAVE TIME FOR THAT…I’m  JEALOUS) bless their hearts. I know hooking up with people is numbers game. You need to casually ask 1000 people and maybe you will be 1 person to say yes.  So maybe you’re playing the numbers games with porn stars in hopes to increase your yes to no ratio. Kudos to you but don’t get your expectations up too high and don’t get angry when a woman turns you down. I know we are in the age of Incels but women are not turning you down because WE are the problem. You may be getting turned down because of your approach. If you are only writing a girl because you wanna fuck that’s your prerogative but as I mentioned before, Porn stars are business people and if you can’t contribute to their business, don’t get mad if they turn you down.

I’m keeping this list simple. Basically the moral of the story is to treat porn stars like normal people because we are normal people. And hey, if you’re a porn star reading this I hope it helped you as well in understanding the fans’ point of view. Let’s all be kind to each other. Influence the world with good, give a little so you can get a little, scratch each other’s backs. We need fans to support us so they can vote on laws that help us rather than laws that hurt us. If a fan watches one of your videos for free, don’t get too upset, that fan may just be the swing vote we need to protect doing the things we love. Being bitchy to them may just influence them to vote to destroy an industry that seemly rejects them.  Thank you and keep fighting the good fight, Bring a smile to someone today and always be kind to yourself.


BTS and Bloopers for London Rivers vs Tony Orlando

I keep saying, These wrestler are charming and fun. Porn is great and everything but these bloopers really show you the personalities of these performers. I really hope you enjoy these as much as I do. For the Porn, go to 


The bloopers will be on the site as well but here’s a freebie for those of you who aren’t members.


Submissive X shoots on Clips4sale now available.

I’ve been somewhat regularly updating my store. I have been trying to update every Friday night with a new “submissive X” shoot. I started sub clipping each shoot and uploading each clip independently but It seems you folx like downloading the entire video rather than doing clip by clip so from now on I will just put up the full clip for one download. Right now this clip store isn’t making enough money to sustain itself. I’m paying my models out of pocket for these shoots, they are not customs that people write in to put in requests, however, if you do write a good script and send it over, I’m not opposed to shooting customs for this project. To be honest, It would be a lot of work to update this weekly on top of the other projects I have going on. I am launching two wrestling sites that also will eventually start to update weekly. Between producing these and then doing all the post stuff just to get it to the site, it’s a lot of work for one woman. Then to be a submissive performer weekly on top of that, it’s just a lot. To be Frank, it’s more fun playing a submissive when I want to be rather than make myself do it weekly just to get an update up…I’ll have to weigh out the pros and cons of this. With that said, I’m not sure I will dedicate an entire site just to submissive X. I want to be able to give my customers value and if I can’t’ give you regular updates, I don’t think that’s fair for you to pay a membership. When I do update Submissive X, I can send out an email to those of you who are interested. If you are interested in being put onto the Submissive X mailing list, Please sign up using this link.  SIGN UP HERE



Coveted protein pancake recipe

I had a lot of folks asking for my recipe for my famous protein pancakes so I’m gonna share. It’s a recipe I invented through trial and error of trying to incorporate more protein into a regular pancake recipe. I’m pretty proud of this breakfast meal I made. I should patent and trade mark this shit and sell it. But I’m giving away the recipe because I want to help folks

I have included brand names for products. I strongly suggest using the exact product I mention. Through my own trial and error, I have found that these specific products work best for cooking. So don’t substitute anything or you will murder my recipe.

1 cup egg whites
1 cup voskos fat free plain Greek yogurt
1 cup Quakers quick oaks uncooked (dry)
1/4 cup gluten flour ( not gluten free) if u require gluten free do no use this flour and use gf oats however I’ve done this and they pancakes are very flat and not as delicious.
1 scoop chocolate Protowhey protein powder
1 scoop vanilla Protowhey protein powder

Blend everything together in a blender

Heat pan

Cover pan with macadamia nut oil ( I prefer this to coconut oil for cooking) see benefits of macadamia but oil here

Macadmia but oil also has a higher smoke point that coconut oil has so its better for cooking. To find the oil you like best and is most healthful for you, here is a great article about different oils

I don’t use syrup for these pancakes. I make my own jam using strwberries, blueberries and a teaspoon of local organic honey.

If you use this and/or tell others about it please give me credit for it. It took me several trial and error days of slaving at a girl to make this just right.

There it is, enjoy

14 week post acl repair

I saw my super hot doctor yesterday. He said blah blah blah. Nothing important or new. He did said in 2 weeks from now (so in early may) I can start running. That’s good to know since I started running last week. I have nursed my knee and taken very good care if it. I have listened to the doctor and my physical therapist and done everything they have told me. However I feel like the PT has greatly underestimated my strength and persistence. Any thing my PT told me to do I would do. It would be a lot of effort at first but my body adjusts to things well and quickly. If something is hard for me to do, I continue to do it until I master it. Perfect practice makes perfect. I train with great form and quantity. This has served me well in my bjj training as drilling is 99% of how one improves. I sacrificed time with family and friends and myself in order to recover and rehab from this surgery. I spend about 2 hours a day stretching and doing the exercises suggested. Me at my weakest is still better than the average American. I really wish I could afford the type of PT and doctors that a paid professional team athlete gets. I wish I had a sports specific program alas I’m with kaiser and I’m dealt the hand that is given to me. I did switch doctors and pt to find the best person in network. I’m happy with them however I feel they don’t “get me” I understand that there is No possible way for my graft to heal sooner than 6 months but I feel they are being too cautious. It’s sad that in today’s day and age that doctors and hospitals are targets for frivolous law suits. I strongly believe that assholes ruin things for everyone. Of course doctors would prefer to error on the side of safety. I truly do understand it. However, I think every patient is a special case. Not everyone should be handled the same way. The doctors can’t dedicate the time money and effort it takes to proper service all their patience. I’m taking it upon myself to heal myself the best way possible. I have never , in the time after surgery, pushed my body to do more than it could handle. But I certainly have pushed my body beyond what the doctor and pt protocol has allowed. The doc and pt are patting themselves on the backs. “Wow you’re way ahead of our best athletes, you’re the poster child of how this rehab should be” yeah it’s all you doc!! Sure.
At any rate, one thing I can not speed up is the process in which my body starts turning the hamstring graft into an actual acl. That takes 24 weeks even if you are fit as a fiddle and super healer like myself. So right now my knee is still vulnerable. The muscle I have built around my knee is strong and solid and will help protect me. But the graft is weak. I will not be permitted to box or wrestle until mid July. I can drill however as long as I do no pivot. So I will be doing everything and anything I can do in this time. I see a lot of arm bar drills in my future 😉

First week at the new apartment

I’m writing this blog on my iPhone while I commute to work. Ill try to actually proof read this post before I publish it but please excuse the grammar and typos. iPhone touch keyboards tend to change some words with their auto correct feature.
When kink hired me on to direct for ultimate surrender, it was almost like a last minute decision. I was born and raised in souther California. I love the city I lived in. Santa clarita CA is one of the most beautiful cities in all of the west coast. With the beaches an hour west and the mountains an hour east, there is plenty to do on a weekend or holiday. Santa Clarita has some great hiking trails and also hosts my favorite outdoor gun range. Not only is the city beautiful with its accessible nature trails and activities it’s also rich with history. Newhall is a town within the Santa Clarita valley. It is famous for the oak of the golden dreams where goldwas first discovered in Southern California. It is also famous for its “western preservation” thanks to William s. hart. Yes the city is nice and diverse but the real reason I stayed in that city my entire life was because my family lived there. My mom, dad and one of my brothers lived in the SCV. Moving to the Bay Area was a big decision for me. I was leaving everything I’ve ever known behind. When I was looking for places to live in Northern California, I had to take a lot of things into consideration. I wanted a place similar to SCV with good schools districts for my son and in a safe neighborhood with trails to hike but modern enough to have a mall I know sounds stupid but sometime when you live in a place that is beautiful with nature you end up having to drive 30 miles to get to the closest mall. I have a tweenage son who loves to do the mall crawl. So it’s important to have balance. It’s important to be close to nature and still be able to do the American pass time of window shopping in stores. 😉
I looked at several places in the Bay Area. I knew I did not want to live in San Francisco. I’m not a big city kind of girl. I did live in sf for 3 months in the interim of finding a place to live. I do love the city of San Francisco. It’s like they never developed anything after 1960. It has a throwback vibe. Very retro yet ahead of its time. The gas less muni and bart transportation is amazing I’m not sure why every city doesn’t get their shit together and get on this method of transportation. I guess America is so addicted to oil and politicians get too many metaphoric blowjobs from the Middle East to make public transportation independent of oil. C’est la vie. I will say its really nice to walk around in a big city and not be assaulted my smog or pollution.
I looked high and low for a place to live. I knew I’d have to live far outside sf to find a place like SCV. I knew I’d have to commute an hour to work every day but I’m willing to do that. I decided to move to the tri city area. It’s a 53 minute bart ride to San Francisco but that also means that is 53 minutes closer to the SCV so when I go down to visit every weekend I’m an hour closer each way making a 6 hour drive only a 5 hour drive which makes all the difference 😉
So I’m officially moved in to my new place. I have to admit its pretty sad that my place is empty. I gave away most of my furniture. Actually it was involuntarily given away. I stored it at someone’s place and they decided they liked it and I decided they could keep it. Mostly because I didn’t want to move it 300 miles but also because it made them happy. So I’m shopping for new crap for the apartment. Right now I have a mattress in my living room and a TV set up with my Apple TV and that’s about it. It feels lonely in an empty place but I’m hardly home so I don’t have to deal with the solitude too much until night time. My son is still in so cal finishing school until he transfers into jr high. So I’m utterly alone when I come home. The good news is ill start doing web camming again to have some company 😉 and to help fund the new furniture and appliances for my new place. Heheh kidding kinda ;). So that’s the news of the move. I have a movie I had a scene in coming out soon ill post more about that soon.


7 weeks post Op

Well for a normal surgery, 6 weeks is the mark you get to go right back in to doing what you use to do. That’s not the case in an ACL surgery. My hamstring has atrophied a lot. I am allowed to work on strengthening it now. My quad is still a little weak but it is much better than it was 2 weeks post surgery. My knee still has some swelling but I can actually see the shape of my knee cap.

My PT regimen is getting longer and longer every week. We add new things to perform each visit I get with my PT. It takes me about 2 hours to do all the stretching and exercises I’m recommended to do.  Slowly but surely I am regaining my strength and balance. PT is hard but it’s not like the kind of hard a good workout or training session is. It’s a whole lot of effort for small movements. I haven’t been in “pain” in the rehab, save for the stretching. Trying to get my extension on the bad leg to 0 degrees was one of the most torturous physical things I’ve ever done. All the other pain has been mental. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. With the knowledge of knowing what my body “should” be able to do; the things I use to be able to do, not being able to do small things is devastating to my ego. Not being able to do a 10lb single leg curl is someone embarrassing to myself.

I’m very lucky I have the new job at kink which keeps me busy and challenged. If I were idol to sit and dwell on all these things I can’t do, I would go mad. I’d like to say that I’m a warrior and I would tough it out but to be honest this is hard and if I wasn’t forced to keep my mind off of the rehab when I wasn’t working on rehab, I’d be really depressed.

I’m going to jot down what I’m doing for PT, this is more for my own reference down the line if I ever come back to this to see how I handled every thing

I wake up and stretch my knee with it levitated ( leg straight) and let gravity ease the leg into a 0 degree extension. I must hold this for 15 minutes. If you’ve ever done bondage and have been “forced” to stay in a position for any amount of time, you can relate to how annoying this is then add the sever pain of a leg doing what it does NOT want to do. I then do pretty much every leg stretch you can imagine.

3 sets of 10 step ups

3 sets of 10 step downs.

3 sets of 10 “clam shell” with band hip adductors

3 sets of 10 laying face down tighten butt, leg raises backwards

3 sets of 10 quad flexed, straigh let facing up leg raises

on a exercise ball, shoulders on ball, hips up( not allowed to droop) calf raises 3 sets of 10

on exercise ball, single leg raises 3 sets of 10

standing- single leg calf raises 3 sets of 10

single leg half squats 3 sets of 10

3 sets of 10 single leg leg presses

3 sets of 10 single leg laying down leg curls

Note: all single leg exercises are performed on both legs, just one leg at a time

25 minutes on a bike

25 minutes on a stair master

This takes me about 2-3 hours to complete.


after PT is done, I hit upper body weights. I work out different muscle groups each day. I’m excited that I finally was able to do a pull up today, I wasn’t able to do them recently because i was putting torque on my hamstring in a weird way. I am back to being able to do most upper body exercises without any pain. I’m greatly excited that I am able to do the stair master and bike as cardio. It’s not my preferred method of cardio but who cares I’ll take it.

So there it is. I don’t expect much to change in the next 6 weeks except maybe the weights that I’m adding to any of the exercises. I will not get permission to run until may. I wont be able to wrestle for a while 🙁 it’s a slow process.