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We made it out of 2020, kinda. I should preface my post with the statement that I understand what is going on with the pandemic I understand WHY things are closed . I know we can’t wave a magic wand and have things go back to the way they were in 2019. The course of history has forever been changed. I am feeling a bit nostalgic of 2019 lately though. I think we all miss going to movies or concerts or a hot yoga class: We all miss something. I suppose the best thing to do in any situation that you have no control over is to reflect on the good rather than the bad. One good thing that has happened from all of this is I have been forced to slow things down. My gyms have closed, which was my main source of extra curricular activity outside of work. I have found myself with time on my hands that wasn’t there before but somehow I’m busier than I’ve ever been. Covid protocols for my industry are expensive and strict. So great deal of my life is booking and managing testing for anyone who shoots. Testing comes in late many times and shoots are cancelled often. When shoots are cancelled all the work I did to for those shoots goes down the toilet and I have to start from scratch. It’s stressful and expensive but anytime I catch myself complaining about how different things are, I take a deep breath and turn grateful that I’m even able to work. So many other industries have been devastated. I’m very lucky. I often reflect on how fortunate I am. I can make my own hours for the most part. I can pick and chose what work I want to do. I find myself being over taken by production duties and having to turn down custom video requests. For me to stop everything I’m doing for the productions I’m working on to go back and forth with someone over something they may or may not want to pay money to actually order and then when I do quote them a price they aren’t willing to pay it, I just find it easier not to do customs at this point. There’s a opportunity cost for me to stop planning my productions or stop editing and marketing my tried and true content to film a very niche custom video for one person. So right now I”m just not filming customs. I’m also not working with other producers who are not following the guidelines for our industry. By doing so I have found a happy balance between work and personal time. I have been in the industry for over 17 years. the first 15 year of my career I worked my ass off day and night..I think I’m over that hustle. I did that hustle then so that NOW I can make my money work for me. So every day of my life right now I am incredibly thankful for what i have now. I remember what I came from, I remember not having anything. I remember starting out wishing I could some day be in the position I am in now. So to be here now, is incredible. I am blessed. I could not have gotten here without the support of those of you reading this now.

I’m very excited to see some of my friends thriving right now as well. Many of my costars are doing very well on onlyfans and their clip stores. Its great to see them succeed. I wish everyone could be happy to see their friends succeed. That’s not the case however. I see distain from bitter jaded people who aren’t doing so well. They are not working so they have idol hands. Idol hands do the devils work. I’m pretty sure these idol hands are the people going around spreading fake news and stalking post by quanon ( sp?) oh fuck it I honestly don’t care if that’s spelled right)) . Listen, if you’re into that shit, you are entitled to believe what ever the fuck you want but don’t send me unsolicited shit posts about it. I wont even bother watching/reading/listening to what ever nonsense you send.

With this pandemic has come an opportunity for me to reflect on all my blessings. I’m forced to live a humble and simple life. In a world that I use to feel forced to be “ON” all the time, I am now finding solace in just sitting back and taking in the blessings. I can not get upset over the things I can not change. I work on disciplining my mind. It’s easy to run to the internet forums to try to find answers to why things are the way they are only to find fake news after fake news conspiracy theory websites that are designed specifically for lost people who need someone or something to blame. I have gotten caught up with it once or twice but I rather enjoy this opportunity to discipline my mind to filter out bs. Since the beginning of speech, humans have created stories to explain the things that they did not understand. Today we are no more advance than our bipedal ancestors. I’m blessed to live in a place where I am allowed to have my own opinion and write my thoughts. I’m blessed to have access to those BS websites. I’m blessed to have running water and food at my fingertips. Most importantly, I’m blessed to have my health and support from so many amazing people. So Thank you everyone for taking the time to read my thoughts. I know it can seem annoying to read someone who isn’t struggling talk about how it’s important to show gratitude but believe it or not, when I had NOTHING, I was even more grateful. Gratitude is something I have had to train my brain to do in good times and bad times. Gratitude is the #1 important thing to have each and every day.

For over 20 years in the adult industry, I have had the privilege of having deep, raw, and honest conversations with people about their desires, fears, and hidden truths—topics they often felt they had to hide for fear of negative judgment. I’ve seen firsthand how shame and societal conditioning keep people from embracing their true, authentic selves.

At a glance, it may have seemed like I’ve always been confident—after all, posing nude implies a certain level of self-assurance. But the truth is, my career became a tool for self-exploration in ways I never expected. Being paid to perform was a powerful incentive, but it was also a way to push past my own internal barriers and confront parts of myself I might have otherwise ignored.

The BDSM community, in particular, was cathartic for me. It provided a space to explore power dynamics, vulnerability, and personal growth. Yet, despite the external validation and self-discovery, there was always something blocking me from true self-love.

The Root of My Own Limiting Beliefs

I didn’t always believe I was worthy.
Growing up in poverty, neglect, and abuse, I internalized a deep-seated negative self-talk that whispered, You’ll never be good enough. That belief followed me for years, no matter how much success I found. I felt like an imposter in my own skin, unable to shake the weight of those early experiences.

But here’s what I’ve learned: Your past does not define your future.

Through years of deep inner work, self-hypnosis, and radical self-inquiry, I stopped running from my fears and started facing them head-on. Martial arts gave me discipline, surrounding myself with positive, supportive people gave me strength, and choosing to rewrite my story reminded me of something powerful:

I am worthy of anything I put my mind to.
I am not my past—I am who I choose to be today.

Reclaiming My Power – And Helping You Reclaim Yours

I have consciously chosen positive labels for myself:
Leader
Author
Business owner
Teacher, mentor, and guide

And now, I am officially stepping into my next role:
A board-certified clinical hypno-therapist and NLP practitioner

With these new tools, I will be offering life coaching, hypno-therapy, and NLP-based sessions to help others:
Overcome the fear of shame and ridicule
Break free from limiting beliefs and negative self-talk
Develop unshakable confidence and self-love
Step into their full potential

You Already Have Greatness Within You—Let’s Remember It Together

This journey has taught me that we all have the potential to heal, grow, and thrive—we just need to remember who we are beneath the fear, the conditioning, and the old stories we’ve been told.

If you’re ready to break free from the past and step into your highest self, I would love to guide you. Stay tuned for coaching opportunities, resources, and ways we can work together.

I have Free downloadable content on my coaching site evolvedlifemastery.com please take advantage of the free content. It will change you life.

You are worthy. You are powerful. You are enough.

Drop a comment below or message me if this resonates with you. Let’s step into our greatness—together.

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I have been honored to be a coauthor of a transformation book titled ” The courage to Win”. The Launch dates is May 17th. Stay tuned for details

I am currently in the midst of Tony Robbins’ Date with Destiny journey, and it has proven to be a grueling test of both my physical and mental fortitude. 

However, I take great pride in the immense personal growth I have achieved throughout the years. My dedication to studying philosophy and delving into the depths of human needs and motivations has been instrumental in this process.

 I find solace in the practice of Jiu Jitsu, as it presents me with constant opportunities for growth through the arduous trials and tribulations that come with embracing challenges as valuable teachers.

I must acknowledge the adult industry for its profound impact on my personal development. Through engaging in discussions about individuals’ most intimate secrets, I have gained invaluable insights into the complexities of human nature, transcending the mere realm of sexuality. 

These conversations have revealed the depths of human desires and motivations, shedding light on the intricacies of the human experience that extend far beyond the confines of physical pleasure.

I want to share that when I encounter individuals who are unaware of my profession, I often find myself fabricating falsehoods in order to avoid the discomfort of being judged based on their subjective moral standards. This behavior has resulted in a lack of genuine connections with certain individuals, as I have created a delusion in my mind that I must deceive them about my occupation in order to appease their expectations. I have convinced myself that in order to be accepted, I must conform to a predetermined mold, leading me to either withhold information or blatantly lie about my work. This inauthenticity causes me constant stress as I struggle to remember the falsehoods I have told to each person.

At the age of 43, I have achieved success in my chosen field. However, in order to cultivate deep connections, I must liberate myself from the burden of caring about others’ opinions. If they choose to judge me, that is their own prerogative and not a reflection of my worth or character.

Remember, it is not your responsibility to conform to societal norms or fit into a predetermined box. Your authenticity and honesty are essential in forming genuine connections with others. By embracing your true self and letting go of the fear of judgment, you can create meaningful relationships based on mutual understanding and acceptance.

I have some fun news! I became an affiliate for Real cocks. I use their dildos in nearly every single one of my videos for the evolved sites and submissive X. The dicks are expensive but well worth the investment. They feel great. It’s hard to find a quality sex toy. Most sex toys actually aren’t meant to be inserted. They have a warning label on the packaging that states “for novelty purposes only”. That’s crazy! The best money I ever spent, was on buying a Real cock. I became an affiliate and they sent me “James”. Check out my unboxing video. From November 25-30th, they are having a Sale. Use promo code BLACK2022 at www.arielscocks.com to get 20% off. They don’t do this sale often so get it while you can

I’ve been having a lot of contemplations lately on where I want to go with my productions. I am incredibly grateful that evolvedfights and evolvedfightlez have generated such a huge following. The fans of wrestling porn are some of the most incredible people I have ever encountered in my days of shooting fetish. I’ve made many actual friends with the people who have been enjoying the evolved sites. For the most part, I do enjoy producing all the videos. It’s not all sunshine and roses, there is often drama being the showrunner. Some models don’t wanna work with or for other models. Some models just don’t wanna wrestle at all once they arrive on set. Sometimes I book models through their talent agencies and the agents don’t send the model all the information I send over so there is a lot of confusion on the day of the shoot. It’s rather annoying but this seems to be a trend with some of the current agents in the industry now. All of this is work around-able. None of this is enough to make me throw my hands up and quit. When you run your own business, you take the brunt of all the pain. Big Risk, Big Reward.

While the sites have been fun, I catch myself wanting to slow down. I get requests all the time to open more sites. I have no desire nor do I have the time or resources to open more sites. I don’t think people really understand what it takes to run and operate a legitimate adult site. I know that it looks easy because every model on the planet puts their cell phone on a tripod videos up on the internet via clip stores or onlyfans but that’s nothing like opening your own site. Like most things, there is much more than meets the eye to being a legitimate business owner. Think about the business you are in. Maybe you sell real estate, or you are a programmer or a manager at a store or hotel. I bet you have heard people accuse you of having an easy job that anyone could do. People glamorize other people’s jobs for some reason. They fantasize that there are easy jobs that pay great money for some reason. Well, I know the reason. People only see final projects, they hardly ever see the work it takes to get there. I wish I had the budget to hire a full-time film crew to follow me around and document all the trials and tribulations I have at my job so I could show everyone. Alas, what’s the point of doing that? To show people how I suffer? LOL. I don’t care if they know. It won’t bring in any more money to my company but it will cost me a great deal of money to produce. A lot of “fans” think I have some endless budget, I think people think anyone who films porn is a mega-millionaire. I don’t have Disney money where I can do a “making of” for every series I do. I wish I did. The fact is the bts isn’t exciting at all either. It’s also not of interest to me to film. As I mentioned, I’m wanting to slow down the adult productions, not add additional tasks that will not bring in more income.

I’m focusing more on projects that are not porn related whatsoever. I will be opening myjitsjourney.com next year which will be a motivational platform for people who need a bestie to help them stay on track and live a more healthful life while teaching them to be grateful and appreciative. In addition to that, I will be promoting SFW, training, and tutorials for content creators. I am coming up with a course to help teach content creators how to make quick and dirty videos for any platform. ( I will post more about that once it’s up and running)

I’m afraid at this point in my career, I am finding success beyond porn which is making the drama of producing porn seem less and less appealing. Of course, as I mentioned, all careers have their own drama that will come with them. But for me, being a fully self-sufficient business owner who doesn’t need to deal with drama from models and agents is more appealing as I mature as a quadragenarian.

I’m at the point now where I feel people think I’m being a DIVA but my experience feels like I’m merely setting boundaries and keeping myself sane. I have producers asking me to film for them but the rates they offer are the rates they offer any old model off the street. I have opportunity costs if I film for other producers, I miss out on things I could be doing for MY company. The rate they offer just isn’t justifiable to me. I also run into this issue with fans who want to webcam one on one with me or who want some elaborate custom. Taking my time to chat with one person costs me. It costs me time and money because I could be using that time to talk to many people on OF and make 50Xs what a one on one chat is offering. My time is valuable. It’s taken me nearly 20 years to get to a spot where I can turn down work and honestly it’s been hard for me mentally. I still have FOMO. I still think for some reason I need to work for other people because for 20 years, that’s what I did. But now every single time I am on set for someone else, I am stressed out because I’m now Missing out on the tasks I need to do for my own production. So I end up eating into my family and “me” time to compensate. I didn’t work this hard for 2 decades to get more stressed. So I think I’m ready to stop filming with other producers altogether. It’s time I focus on myself. This means if you want a custom with me in it, you will have to order it from me and you can expect that the rate will be higher than it was in the past unless you are requesting something that fits perfectly with my muscle girl-who-loves-girls brand.

I was having some issues with Only fans in 2021. They kept asking me to reverify my account. I would verify each time they asked but they would keep asking me ( nearly once a week) to reverify. I was able to get in touch with a customer service rep who helped me get everything figured out. So I’m verified and they are actually paying me now…yay!! So please check out my profile https://onlyfans.com/arielxoxo and let’s have some fun.

I have never really been interested in doing streaming or texting on other platforms but I have got to hand it to onlyfans, their platform is super user-friendly and it really does put power in the hands of the content creators. They don’t take a huge chunk of money. Clips stores are notorious for taking 40% of content makers’ income. I realize they have to pay for hosting, storage, legal shit, and billing but 40% is fucking crazy talk. Onlyfans takes 20% which isn’t bad at all considering if you got your own website, CCbill or Segpay take something like 15% and you’re left paying for hosting, legal, and all the other crap that comes along with having your own site. So love them or hate them, onlyfans has a great deal for performers. If you are interested in becoming a content maker I highly recommend them. If you use this link, I get a little kickback so it would be awesome if you sign up using this link https://onlyfans.com/?ref=474661

I’ve had a weird past few months. I moved from California to Nevada… 2 weeks after the move, I was hospitalized for a week with cellulitis and MRSA. One of the worst parts is not knowing where I got MRSA. I had just moved and had not established a gym to train at yet. So while everyone I talk to assumes I got it from a “dirty gym”; it’s simply isn’t possible. Two days before my move, I sustained a mild head injury in my BJJ class. It’s common for the classes to be overcrowded, and two nights before my move, a very intense spar session smashed into me. I got a really heavy heel to the face. I decided I needed to take time off training since I was moving and I needed to stay sharp for the big event. So I had not been training at all and yet here I was, 2 weeks after my move, with a potentially lethal infection that put me in the hospital for nearly a week. I just haven’t felt myself since. I lost a lot of weight from atrophy and the very very very high doses of antibiotics I was on for nearly 3 weeks had me just not feeling like myself. I felt like I had been body-snatched. As if I were just existing. It seemed very dark. Mentally, it has been hard for me to trust cleanliness anywhere I go. Maybe I got MRSA on my elbow from putting my elbows on a table at a restaurant, Maybe I got it from laying on someone’s dirty sofa…I have no idea where it came from and that kinda fucked with my brain a little. But I think I’m getting back into feeling like myself I wanted to apologize to everyone for not being active on here. I have been shooting content on the down-low meaning, I am not tweeting or posting about every shoot I do and I’ll tell you why: If I put any teaser up I will immediately get someone asking me for that content that was just shot and could not possibly be edited or ready for distribution. While I’m flattered by the enthusiasm I mentally didn’t want to deal with that. I did not want to tell each and every person asking that I wasn’t emotionally available to accommodate them in the slightest.

With that said, Evolvedfightslez.com recently wrapped our Autumn Tournament. Today, however, We updated with my return to the mats to challenge the winner of said tournament. It felt good to be back on the mats but more bittersweet I would say. I miss having challengers. While my tournament does display the best of the best, the pickings are slim. There just aren’t enough really good pornstar grapplers out there. So this gets me fantasizing about maybe doing sessions again or maybe starting a non-adult site to wrestle with elite grapplers just for my own desire to be challenged. I doubt a site like that will ever be as lucrative as the porn sites I run but I’m at a point in my life where I can start doing passion projects which will be emotionally more rewarding than the money maker projects. But I’m lucky because I CAN do both.

Thank you everyone and stay tuned for more. I’m still in the process of moving ( believe it or not) My initial move from CA to NV got me into my rental. In the meantime, I was able to find a great home to buy. So now I’m moving OUT of the rental and into the house but the folx I bought from need to rent it back until THEIR house is ready in March. So I get to move again in a few months. This is great because I need some time to settle in and recovery.

Well the time has come. I was born and raised in California. I’ve lived in the Bay Area and in Los Angeles for the bulk of my life. I do love California. The weather is great, the scenery is beautiful; there are so many stunning hikes and camping areas to go to. But, it’s time to say good bye. I have had my company set up in Nevada for the past 5 years. I have been driving back and forth for 5 years. During Covid lockdowns with travel restrictions, I was spending much more time sitting in my car than I cared to. The Pandemic ignited a spark in me, I suppose. I realized I would much rather live closer to my work with my family living in the same town that I work in so that I wasn’t sitting on the road for 10-20 hours a month. With everything closed, people started encroaching on my favorite hikes and camping areas. I’m over it. I’m ready to move on. While I do not LOVE Nevada, I am very happy that they are business friendly towards adult companies like myself. Im simply going to use Nevada as home base so that when things do open up ( looking like 2024) I can travel easily out of my home base while not having to pay california prices. I will miss my training partners for sure. I have moved a few times and it always hurts when you leave a good gym that has become your family. I do plan on coming back to train with those buttheads often tho. On to the next chapter.

I have been mulling an idea over for a while. This site cost me money to keep up. I have domain fees, hosting fees. The ROI just isn’t there. I haven’t been active on here either but that’s mostly because the nature of the site being adult makes it nearly impossible to make any revenue from it. I have recently gotten sex toy companies asking about paid ads but I’m not getting enough to pay for the site. Also, I am opening a SFW site myjitsjourney.com which I will be active on and which I will be able to monetize. So it looks like this is the end for this blog. I will keep it up for a few more week and then the site will be a redirect to my onlyfans fan page.

Thank you all for the support and I hope to see you all on the next chapter of my journey!

UPDATE AUG 16, 2021

I am overwhelmed with the love and support you folx have shown to my blog. Apparently some of you do read what I’m posting and you do like my blog and will miss it if it’s gone. So I will keep it up for now. Thanks again for all the love and support.