We will be entering the year 2019 shortly. Like it or not 2019, people are watching porn in public and proudly proclaiming their adoration for smut( Thanks for being caught watching Porn hub Kayne). Times sure have changed since I started in 2003 in the industry. I thank Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian for making “leaked” videos which launched them into stardom and made porn an open topic of conversation. I also thank the fact that people are resilient and after years of being oppressed by religion and peers, most of you saw past the bullshit, said, “I’m tired of these hypocrites” and, “fuck it! people are going to judge me no matter what, I might as well get some fun out of this life”. You owned up to your love of sex, porn, and awesome porn stars. You’re a human being and you want interaction. This is natural and how are you going to get it? You’re going to start watching porn because it is a great stress release, it helps you realize you are perfectly normal because you can see other people commenting and sharing the same porn that you like. Hell, you have a rapport with other porn fans now! you’ve found your home! Congratulations, you’re no longer alone in this world.  

“Congratulations, you’re no longer alone in this World”

Social Media has made it easier than ever for you to be able to reach out to your favorite star be it, athlete, actor, musician,  politician or porn star. Huge celebrities ignore you, however. They have too many fans to keep track of so any interaction you attempt to have with them falls by the wayside. Musicians ignore you, politicians give you nothing, actors don’t know you exist and athletes just want to fuck your girlfriend so they ignore you but privately DM your girl ( WHAT ? you know it’s true don’t act like it’s not). As you browse social Media you stumble upon your favorite porn stars and you see they are very active on their social media accounts so you want a piece of this action. You want that reward trigger in your brain so bad in the form of a “like” or a simple “Thank you” that comes from your favorite porn star. So how do you go about getting that? You’ve been tweeting them non stop for days now and now the worst thing in the world has happened. YOU’VE BEEN BLOCKED!!! how did this happen and how can you avoid it? Here is a list of thing you’re doing wrong when adoring Porn stars. Actually here’s a list of things you’re doing wrong when dealing with any person because, well frankly, pornstars are regular people as well.

1. Don’t send Dick Pics.

We get it, you’re proud of your dick. At any given moment you have 176 photos readily available of your member in every angle, professionally lit, and in every position possible. You are proud of your piece and you think everyone else cares about it, We don’t. Porn Stars see a lot of dick. Its our jobs to see dick. If you worked at a burger joint would you want people sending pictures of burgers day. You’re going to be so judgemental of their burgers when then send you a picture of them. You’re going to be like ” dude I know burgers and that burger you sent me a picture of is garbage….learn how to pack your meat properly before you send me this trash”….That’s exactly how people on the internet view your unsolicited Dick picks. On the rare occasion, you do get a girl on line asking you to see pictures of your dick, please note that you’re probably getting catfished but if you’re not, go ahead and send pictures if they are requested and ONLY if they are requested.

2. Never Call them By their Birth Name.

The quickest way to creep someone out who currently goes by a pseudonym is to call them by their birth name. Let’s face the facts, there are several people who do not go by the name on their birth certificate for one reason or another. I have a brother who has one name on his birth certificate but we never ever called him by his birth name. My mother made us all call him by a different name and that’s the name I know him as and THAT’s who he is. If any ever called the house asking for a guy with his birth name, I knew it was either a bill collector or some scammer, because NO ONE called him by the name on his birth certificate. So you assuming that your favorite star even ever went by their birth name immediate makes you look like a tool. It shows that you spent a good deal of time even looking that information up. The first question is WHY are you looking that information up? The second question do you think that knowing their birth name makes you special? If you were able to look it up, that means it’s not really special information that any Tom Dick or Harry could find. It doesn’t bond you with them. It’s not “insider” information. It’s “I took stalking to a whole other level by googling your real name so I can try to find out your record or address”. There is NEVER A REASON TO LOOK UP ANY CELEBRITY’S’ REAL NAME EVER. If by chance the celebrity wants to start going by their birth name for a month to get some PR, so be it. But if you know Madonna as Madonna, Call her fucking “Madonna”. Also, it’s never okay to ask the porn star if you can call them by their “real” name. I know you want to feel more intimate with them. Maybe you’ve shelled out thousands of dollar on their videos. I get it, you feel entitled but you’re not entitled to that personal part of them. You’re really NOT in a realationship with them. They are selling you a fantasy. If they want you to use their real name, give them the time and space to let them approach the subject with you. I have made many friends online who were fans of my work who I now tell them to call me my real name. Unless I tell you it’s okay to use my birth name, MY name to you is Ariel. And if you insist on emailing me addressing me with my birth name, you’re going to get ignored.

3.  Don’t ever ask if you can be friends 

 I’m not talking “Friends request” on social media, my meaning here is you already follow them or are “friends” on social media but you write them to ask them to be your friend in real life. I get so many of these emails and it’s the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like you’re in kindergarten and you ask someone in class to be your friend…what are we, 6? Think about your friends in real life and how you became friends with them. It happened organically. Maybe you were stuck in a class together for a year. You saw each other every day and eventually, one of you cracks a joke about the teacher and you instantly bonded. Or you work at a job and you see your coworkers every day. You don’t start out best friends but over the course of time you develop a mutual hatred for Barbara who works in accounting and you become friends because of your mutual hatred of that bitch Barbara. Fuck Barbara! Or maybe you play sports on a team and after trials and tribulations with your team, you have bonded with them and you’re friends for life. Or maybe you have no friends at all, that’s okay! nothing wrong with that because you’re awesome and you’re your own best friends. That’s the coolest and best friend to have because you’re not going anywhere and you’ll never turn your back on yourself. Again, that just happened organically. You didn’t have to force that friendship. You know they saying ”  if you have to force it, it’s probably shit” If you have to force a friendship on someone, it’s not going to work…move along.

”  if you have to force it, it’s probably shit”

4. Don’t ask them for favors 

I know, You want to know how you can get into porn or maybe you need to borrow $100  from this porn star because you know she makes money….. we all need a little help from time to time. What’s it going to hurt to ask for a favor the worst that can happen is they say “no” right. Well no the worst that can happen if you ask a complete stranger for a favor without offering anything in return and they block you and then you never get to interact with the person you claim to adore. Think about all the spam you get from the Saudi prince who needs your help so he can get money out of his country and all you need to do is deposit $10k into this offshore account so he can give you 300Million… it’s bullshit, it’s a scam don’t do it. And if it wasn’t a scam, would you help if the email said ” the prince needs you to give him $10K, that would be great if you could help” What the shit do you get out of that deal? Why don’t do you drop everything you are doing and help this asshole. There is no such thing as Altruism and you’re out of your mind if you expect people to help you for no reason. Even if they did want to do a good deed, they do it so they can brag about the good deed they did. Don’t argue with me on this, George Price proved we are all selfish assholes, I’m not being a dick writing this I’m merely stating facts. It’s been proven that if you want someone to do something for you, you are more likely to recieve help if you offer something in return.  So if you would like to get some tips on how to get into the industry  start out by offering something in return for example ” hey Ariel I would like tips on how to get in the industry, I heard you had a blog, can you send me the link so I can hopefully get knowledge from it and in return, I will promote the blog to get you traffic to your site. You see, I’m too lazy to use the search box in your blog so if you do the work for me, I promise to help promote your blog and send you traffic.” —-Ahhh… honesty about being lazy AND the promise to promote my blog…how can I resist helping this person out!!

5.  Don’t tell them you watch their stuff For Free 

The elephant in the room, let’s talk about it. Porn gets pirated, we get it. I assume most of you reading this blog have watched stolen porn or free porn. It’s this weird thing. Free porn does promote the models but for what purpose? It’s getting stolen and taking money out of our pockets. Getting Views on a tube site that doesn’t pay us does us no good. What’s the point of having 1M fans/views if none of those people are paying to see your stuff…. oh what , we’re infamous, we get to have  all the crap that comes with  being a celebrity, we get the harassment, the stalkers, the haters, the complainers all this without any of the glories of financial compensation? What the hell would we keep working for. Do you work for ‘Likes’ no…you work for money. Porn is not sponsored by social media, they do not pay us to be influencers and reimburse us for how many followers we have or likes we get or views we get. We are the mistresses of social media: they want us because we bring them traffic but they don’t want to admit they like cause their wives will not approve.  IF you do watch the porn for free, Don’t’ tell us, Don’t rub it in our face. That’s like me going into the apple store bragging about how I stole their product from Costco

6.  You’re not Valuing Their Time

time is the single most valuable thing we have in this life. It’s irreplacable and taken for granted. I’m going to echo what I just said. PORN STARS ARE NOT PAID LIKE ONLINE INFLUENCERS. WE GET NOTHING FOR THE NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS WE HAVE OR LIKES WE GET OR VIEWS WE GET ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Social Media tries to do everything in their power to keep us from being on their platform publically. The time we spend online is used to engage with who we want when we want, how we want. If you send us one reply to one of our posts, chances are it gets overlooked. Don’t write us 30 follow-ups, We will get to it when we can. Also if we do respond once, that’s not an invitation to write us a million times. We don’t have time to be pen pals with every single person who writes us. I’m a little torn on the next part I’m going to write here as I have heard so many arguments from both sides of the coin but this is the truth. If you want to interact with a porn star, The fastest, easiest way to guarantee he or she writes you back is to offer a token of appreciation in advance in monetary form. Sigh there I said it. I try my damndest to reply to everyone who writes me comprehensive things. If I can not make out what you are trying to say, I will ignore you because I assume it’s coming from a bot. Nobody has time for bots. I do get a TON of messages and I do try to get back to everyone. I appreciate the folks who pop in and just say ” hey just saying hi keep up the good word, that’s all” and I reply and they are content with the one response. It gets really difficult when I do respond and then the fan opens the portal of hell asking questions that I have answered 199878 times already in posts and the slue of questions keep coming in from them. They want minute by minute recounts of what’s going on in my life. I guarantee they would never treat someone they know if real life this way. When this happens I tend to “silence” these people. I know no matter how much attention I give them, it will not be enough and they will keep trying to suck more and more time out of me. I don’t have the resourced to dedicate to that, no person does. I believe that interacting with fans is a duty ( hehe I said doody) to interact and give the fans an experience to an extent. I also know time is valuable which is why I have MY redline of where I need to stop interacting unless I’m getting some sort of compensation. Each porn star is different on where they draw their redline but in general, if you offer to compensate them for their time in your first correspondence with them, they will be more likely to engage. This doesn’t make us assholes, its business. Do you go to your therapist and try to talk to them for free? do they talk to you for free? does your accountant talk to you for free? Chatting with a porn star fills a need in you to feel like you have some companionship. It’s a service. Some of the services will be free but when you want more and more of that service, there should be compensation.  Like any other business, time is money

“Like any other businss, Time is Money”

7. you’re basically harassing them; stop it.

#6 leads into #7 here. We understand that you are super passionate about porn but here’s the thing. There’s a fine line between being passionate and being a stalker so it’s best for porn stars to err on the side of caution because historically, being too nice has literally KILLED US. There are a handful of porn stars that have been murdered by adoring fans. I personally have had two incredibly insane stalkers and it is scary stuff. The sad thing is, the type of people who become this dangerous would not know they are the ones we are talking about. The stalkers tend to think the people they are infatuated with are mutually in love with them. They belive we give code messages to them. I had a stalker write me from 5 different email addresses, pretending to be multiple different people and in their emails to me mentioned how they got my code messages from tweets I was sending ( trust me there were no code messages being sent out). You can’t rationalize with crazy and for that, a porn star needs to keep an extra guard up. We need to “FUCK POLITENESS” and look out for our well being. So if that means we block you because you are acting rather strange, so be it. I can’t teach you how not to be crazy. Sorry, I don’t have tips on how to fix this other than…seek the help you need.

7.your intention is to get a date with them, Most likely it’s not going to happen!

Do porn stars fuck average joes? ABSOLUTELY!!! Many of the models escort and you may be able to hire them for a special night…you need to look up the laws in your areas, however, to stay out of trouble.  I’m willing to bet if you are in the US, most likely it will be illegal to pay for sex. I think that’s the stupidest law in the world, but I’m not writing this post to talk about bad laws.  Porn stars date and even marry average joes and janes. How we meet those people varies. Porn stars get many offers for guys who want to hook up. I’m not going to lie, there are some girls who are really THAT horny and will fuck anyone who asks ( GOD I LOVE THEM FOR THAT, THE FACT THEY EVEN HAVE TIME FOR THAT…I’m  JEALOUS) bless their hearts. I know hooking up with people is numbers game. You need to casually ask 1000 people and maybe you will be 1 person to say yes.  So maybe you’re playing the numbers games with porn stars in hopes to increase your yes to no ratio. Kudos to you but don’t get your expectations up too high and don’t get angry when a woman turns you down. I know we are in the age of Incels but women are not turning you down because WE are the problem. You may be getting turned down because of your approach. If you are only writing a girl because you wanna fuck that’s your prerogative but as I mentioned before, Porn stars are business people and if you can’t contribute to their business, don’t get mad if they turn you down.

I’m keeping this list simple. Basically the moral of the story is to treat porn stars like normal people because we are normal people. And hey, if you’re a porn star reading this I hope it helped you as well in understanding the fans’ point of view. Let’s all be kind to each other. Influence the world with good, give a little so you can get a little, scratch each other’s backs. We need fans to support us so they can vote on laws that help us rather than laws that hurt us. If a fan watches one of your videos for free, don’t get too upset, that fan may just be the swing vote we need to protect doing the things we love. Being bitchy to them may just influence them to vote to destroy an industry that seemly rejects them.  Thank you and keep fighting the good fight, Bring a smile to someone today and always be kind to yourself.