IDK what happened the last 3 months.

I’ve had a weird past few months. I moved from California to Nevada… 2 weeks after the move, I was hospitalized for a week with cellulitis and MRSA. One of the worst parts is not knowing where I got MRSA. I had just moved and had not established a gym to train at yet. So while everyone I talk to assumes I got it from a “dirty gym”; it’s simply isn’t possible. Two days before my move, I sustained a mild head injury in my BJJ class. It’s common for the classes to be overcrowded, and two nights before my move, a very intense spar session smashed into me. I got a really heavy heel to the face. I decided I needed to take time off training since I was moving and I needed to stay sharp for the big event. So I had not been training at all and yet here I was, 2 weeks after my move, with a potentially lethal infection that put me in the hospital for nearly a week. I just haven’t felt myself since. I lost a lot of weight from atrophy and the very very very high doses of antibiotics I was on for nearly 3 weeks had me just not feeling like myself. I felt like I had been body-snatched. As if I were just existing. It seemed very dark. Mentally, it has been hard for me to trust cleanliness anywhere I go. Maybe I got MRSA on my elbow from putting my elbows on a table at a restaurant, Maybe I got it from laying on someone’s dirty sofa…I have no idea where it came from and that kinda fucked with my brain a little. But I think I’m getting back into feeling like myself I wanted to apologize to everyone for not being active on here. I have been shooting content on the down-low meaning, I am not tweeting or posting about every shoot I do and I’ll tell you why: If I put any teaser up I will immediately get someone asking me for that content that was just shot and could not possibly be edited or ready for distribution. While I’m flattered by the enthusiasm I mentally didn’t want to deal with that. I did not want to tell each and every person asking that I wasn’t emotionally available to accommodate them in the slightest.

With that said, recently wrapped our Autumn Tournament. Today, however, We updated with my return to the mats to challenge the winner of said tournament. It felt good to be back on the mats but more bittersweet I would say. I miss having challengers. While my tournament does display the best of the best, the pickings are slim. There just aren’t enough really good pornstar grapplers out there. So this gets me fantasizing about maybe doing sessions again or maybe starting a non-adult site to wrestle with elite grapplers just for my own desire to be challenged. I doubt a site like that will ever be as lucrative as the porn sites I run but I’m at a point in my life where I can start doing passion projects which will be emotionally more rewarding than the money maker projects. But I’m lucky because I CAN do both.

Thank you everyone and stay tuned for more. I’m still in the process of moving ( believe it or not) My initial move from CA to NV got me into my rental. In the meantime, I was able to find a great home to buy. So now I’m moving OUT of the rental and into the house but the folx I bought from need to rent it back until THEIR house is ready in March. So I get to move again in a few months. This is great because I need some time to settle in and recovery.