Archives 2013

I’m waiting for a flight and have a great deal of time. I haven’t blogged in a while so I figure it would be great to do some blogging. I’m typing this on my phone keyboard so please forgive the typos and run on sentences.

I have a good amount of time to myself while I ride BART to and from work. The round trip is a 2 hour commute for me. I try to spend the time being productive or by keeping up with pop culture. I recently decided to pick up the book “50 Shades of Grey”. I was very curious about it since someone I was hanging out with said it reminded him of me. I thought the obvious. I thought that the BDSM in the book made him think of me. But I just finished the last paragraph and now I see how my life my echoes the book in other ways.
The story is a romance between a simple self described “plain” girl and mega billionaire who has secrets and a dark and “perverted” sexual appetite. It takes the reader into the courtship through the point of view of the aforementioned simple and plain girl named Anastasia. Anastasia is an annoying, needy, young, Virgin. Her inexperience makes for some thrilling chase scenes for the romantic inside me. I was utterly infatuated with the courtship in the book. I was utterly bored by the sex once it happened. I learned something very important about myself from reading this. I learned that I like foreplay much more than the actual act of sex which says a lot because I really fucking like sex. I realized my adoration for foreplay after I put the book down for 4 months because I was bored that this Christian Grey guy deflowers our lovely Ana and then I was left thinking “okay, well you can only have her virginity once “. His getting her to give herself to him was the exciting part for me. The actual sex parts were not as exciting.

That’s not to say the sex was boring. It is not. It’s well written and not crude what so ever. It was definitely written FOR women. However, the female submissive (who admits over and over in the book she’s not really a submissive) is not very exciting. I found her annoying, really. If she were my submissive I would have let her go on our third date. She’s not obedient enough for me and I found it difficult to swallow that a man of Christian Greys lifestyle and needs both personal and professional would be willing to put up with so much of her whining. I’m an asshole tho. That’s the difference between me and Christian grey I guess. Well that and I don’t have a helicopter named Charlie tango.

I must admit there were moments where I could sympathize with Anastasia’s insecurities which would lead to her whining. I’ve been in a relationship were I was constantly doubting why someone was with me. I’ve also been in relationships where I felt it was so important to get the person I was in the relationship whom I thought was cold or distant to love me. Some how I felt my love for this person in the relationship would change them and make them happy. And that is what many young girls, including our poor sweet Anastasia, do wrong. We try to change people because we think they must be miserable and we need to “fix” them. And in order to do that we need them to love us the way we love them and if they don’t we get insecure and act a little ( for lack of a better word) crazy.
I applaud the character for trying out new sexual fantasies with her first lover. I was happy to read she even enjoyed some of the spanking if it was too hard. I was a little annoyed by the constant use or words/phrases like “torture” “is he gonna beat me again”. From the very dull descriptions it did not sound like any torture or beating was happening. But I suppose I’ll let it slide because to a girl who has never experienced anything like what she was doing for Christian grey, she may very well perceive it as torture or beating. But then again she also says she liked it and was turned on by it so really not torture or beating but then again it is “beat” into our heads that’s she’s not a submissive. Meh oh well.

With that said, the Bdsm aspect if this first book in the series was not the best part of the book. The best part of the book was seeing a woman realize she was loving someone in the wrong way and her being strong enough to do the hard and right thing.

This book is repetitive and boring at times but over all it’s a good read. I think every woman should read it just to realize you’re not crazy for thinking some of the silly things one thinks when starting a new and very different kind of relationship

These are subject to change but for the most part should stay like this

This friday’s update 11/15 We have an amazing match up between Lyla “the Jaguar” Storm and Rookie Ana “Conda” Fox. Theres something like a 10 point difference between these two. So many beautiful Leggy holds and sweeps. This one is outstanding!!!! Ana Foxxx is a contender for rookie of the year already..wow

Also, There is a LIVE match THIS FRIDAY 11/15 7:pm PT between Jayogen “The Beast” and Penny Barber ” The Tarrasque”

Tuesday 11/19 is the full length Tag Match.

11/22 we have Izamar “La Diabla” vs Daisy “Dooms day” Ducati. Daisy has had a great start to season 11 with her match with Mia Li, Let’s see how she does with someone a little more experience.

11/29 Bella”The Annihilator” Rossi vs. Nikki “Road Warrior” Hearts. Nikki is scrappy and wants to do her signature sex move on Bella in Round 4.

12/06 We have a LIVE Tag match….still waiting for wrestlers to confirm.

12/06 updated will be either the recorded match of Jayogen v penny….if for some reason this match is cut short due to cancellation or injury we will update with Wennona vs. Nikki Darling. Two of the fittest girls try to muscle their way into sexually dominating the other.

12/13 New cummer Molly “From Hell” O’dell vs. Bella “The Wolfe” Bella tries to make wolf babies with little Molly but molly has other plans.

12/20 Carissa “The Barbie Brawler” vs Bella “The annihilitor” Rossi. Carissa looks like a Barbie; Blond hair, Tanned/toned skin, Big tits and pointed toes but don’t let her looks fool you. this Barbie likes to Brawl and she thinks she’s ready to kick Bella’s ass.

12/27 Alice “The Killing” Frost vs. Lea Lexis “the Romanian Rager” Alice has been training and it shows. She gives Lea a very hard time and Lea doesn’t like disobient girls. asshole fingering during the wrestling….ouchie-mama!

I had a lot of folks asking for my recipe for my famous protein pancakes so I’m gonna share. It’s a recipe I invented through trial and error of trying to incorporate more protein into a regular pancake recipe. I’m pretty proud of this breakfast meal I made. I should patent and trade mark this shit and sell it. But I’m giving away the recipe because I want to help folks

I have included brand names for products. I strongly suggest using the exact product I mention. Through my own trial and error, I have found that these specific products work best for cooking. So don’t substitute anything or you will murder my recipe.

1 cup egg whites
1 cup voskos fat free plain Greek yogurt
1 cup Quakers quick oaks uncooked (dry)
1/4 cup gluten flour ( not gluten free) if u require gluten free do no use this flour and use gf oats however I’ve done this and they pancakes are very flat and not as delicious.
1 scoop chocolate Protowhey protein powder
1 scoop vanilla Protowhey protein powder

Blend everything together in a blender

Heat pan

Cover pan with macadamia nut oil ( I prefer this to coconut oil for cooking) see benefits of macadamia but oil here

Macadmia but oil also has a higher smoke point that coconut oil has so its better for cooking. To find the oil you like best and is most healthful for you, here is a great article about different oils

I don’t use syrup for these pancakes. I make my own jam using strwberries, blueberries and a teaspoon of local organic honey.

If you use this and/or tell others about it please give me credit for it. It took me several trial and error days of slaving at a girl to make this just right.

There it is, enjoy

I saw my super hot doctor yesterday. He said blah blah blah. Nothing important or new. He did said in 2 weeks from now (so in early may) I can start running. That’s good to know since I started running last week. I have nursed my knee and taken very good care if it. I have listened to the doctor and my physical therapist and done everything they have told me. However I feel like the PT has greatly underestimated my strength and persistence. Any thing my PT told me to do I would do. It would be a lot of effort at first but my body adjusts to things well and quickly. If something is hard for me to do, I continue to do it until I master it. Perfect practice makes perfect. I train with great form and quantity. This has served me well in my bjj training as drilling is 99% of how one improves. I sacrificed time with family and friends and myself in order to recover and rehab from this surgery. I spend about 2 hours a day stretching and doing the exercises suggested. Me at my weakest is still better than the average American. I really wish I could afford the type of PT and doctors that a paid professional team athlete gets. I wish I had a sports specific program alas I’m with kaiser and I’m dealt the hand that is given to me. I did switch doctors and pt to find the best person in network. I’m happy with them however I feel they don’t “get me” I understand that there is No possible way for my graft to heal sooner than 6 months but I feel they are being too cautious. It’s sad that in today’s day and age that doctors and hospitals are targets for frivolous law suits. I strongly believe that assholes ruin things for everyone. Of course doctors would prefer to error on the side of safety. I truly do understand it. However, I think every patient is a special case. Not everyone should be handled the same way. The doctors can’t dedicate the time money and effort it takes to proper service all their patience. I’m taking it upon myself to heal myself the best way possible. I have never , in the time after surgery, pushed my body to do more than it could handle. But I certainly have pushed my body beyond what the doctor and pt protocol has allowed. The doc and pt are patting themselves on the backs. “Wow you’re way ahead of our best athletes, you’re the poster child of how this rehab should be” yeah it’s all you doc!! Sure.
At any rate, one thing I can not speed up is the process in which my body starts turning the hamstring graft into an actual acl. That takes 24 weeks even if you are fit as a fiddle and super healer like myself. So right now my knee is still vulnerable. The muscle I have built around my knee is strong and solid and will help protect me. But the graft is weak. I will not be permitted to box or wrestle until mid July. I can drill however as long as I do no pivot. So I will be doing everything and anything I can do in this time. I see a lot of arm bar drills in my future 😉

I shot a movie for Wicked a few months ago and it’s coming out so I’m sharing the info with you. I had a great time working with the cast and crew for the film. I don’t have a big part in the movie but it was great being around so many people who like fighting as much as I do. The ladies were smoking hot and I was so lucky to be in a scene with 4 other amazing girls. I have a huge girl crush on Jessika Drake now. I always thought she was hot but after spending a little time with her and speaking with her, I have huge respect and horn dog boners for her. She’s probably the sweetest girl in porn. She picked up the fight training really fast.  Adrianna Luna already had some background in training and it really shows. She’s super hot and skilled.

here’s the trailer for the movie and some additional information :  http://www.wickedb2b.com/movies/tuff-love

I’m writing this blog on my iPhone while I commute to work. Ill try to actually proof read this post before I publish it but please excuse the grammar and typos. iPhone touch keyboards tend to change some words with their auto correct feature.
When kink hired me on to direct for ultimate surrender, it was almost like a last minute decision. I was born and raised in souther California. I love the city I lived in. Santa clarita CA is one of the most beautiful cities in all of the west coast. With the beaches an hour west and the mountains an hour east, there is plenty to do on a weekend or holiday. Santa Clarita has some great hiking trails and also hosts my favorite outdoor gun range. Not only is the city beautiful with its accessible nature trails and activities it’s also rich with history. Newhall is a town within the Santa Clarita valley. It is famous for the oak of the golden dreams where goldwas first discovered in Southern California. It is also famous for its “western preservation” thanks to William s. hart. Yes the city is nice and diverse but the real reason I stayed in that city my entire life was because my family lived there. My mom, dad and one of my brothers lived in the SCV. Moving to the Bay Area was a big decision for me. I was leaving everything I’ve ever known behind. When I was looking for places to live in Northern California, I had to take a lot of things into consideration. I wanted a place similar to SCV with good schools districts for my son and in a safe neighborhood with trails to hike but modern enough to have a mall I know sounds stupid but sometime when you live in a place that is beautiful with nature you end up having to drive 30 miles to get to the closest mall. I have a tweenage son who loves to do the mall crawl. So it’s important to have balance. It’s important to be close to nature and still be able to do the American pass time of window shopping in stores. 😉
I looked at several places in the Bay Area. I knew I did not want to live in San Francisco. I’m not a big city kind of girl. I did live in sf for 3 months in the interim of finding a place to live. I do love the city of San Francisco. It’s like they never developed anything after 1960. It has a throwback vibe. Very retro yet ahead of its time. The gas less muni and bart transportation is amazing I’m not sure why every city doesn’t get their shit together and get on this method of transportation. I guess America is so addicted to oil and politicians get too many metaphoric blowjobs from the Middle East to make public transportation independent of oil. C’est la vie. I will say its really nice to walk around in a big city and not be assaulted my smog or pollution.
I looked high and low for a place to live. I knew I’d have to live far outside sf to find a place like SCV. I knew I’d have to commute an hour to work every day but I’m willing to do that. I decided to move to the tri city area. It’s a 53 minute bart ride to San Francisco but that also means that is 53 minutes closer to the SCV so when I go down to visit every weekend I’m an hour closer each way making a 6 hour drive only a 5 hour drive which makes all the difference 😉
So I’m officially moved in to my new place. I have to admit its pretty sad that my place is empty. I gave away most of my furniture. Actually it was involuntarily given away. I stored it at someone’s place and they decided they liked it and I decided they could keep it. Mostly because I didn’t want to move it 300 miles but also because it made them happy. So I’m shopping for new crap for the apartment. Right now I have a mattress in my living room and a TV set up with my Apple TV and that’s about it. It feels lonely in an empty place but I’m hardly home so I don’t have to deal with the solitude too much until night time. My son is still in so cal finishing school until he transfers into jr high. So I’m utterly alone when I come home. The good news is ill start doing web camming again to have some company 😉 and to help fund the new furniture and appliances for my new place. Heheh kidding kinda ;). So that’s the news of the move. I have a movie I had a scene in coming out soon ill post more about that soon.

Well for a normal surgery, 6 weeks is the mark you get to go right back in to doing what you use to do. That’s not the case in an ACL surgery. My hamstring has atrophied a lot. I am allowed to work on strengthening it now. My quad is still a little weak but it is much better than it was 2 weeks post surgery. My knee still has some swelling but I can actually see the shape of my knee cap.

My PT regimen is getting longer and longer every week. We add new things to perform each visit I get with my PT. It takes me about 2 hours to do all the stretching and exercises I’m recommended to do.  Slowly but surely I am regaining my strength and balance. PT is hard but it’s not like the kind of hard a good workout or training session is. It’s a whole lot of effort for small movements. I haven’t been in “pain” in the rehab, save for the stretching. Trying to get my extension on the bad leg to 0 degrees was one of the most torturous physical things I’ve ever done. All the other pain has been mental. I feel like a prisoner in my own body. With the knowledge of knowing what my body “should” be able to do; the things I use to be able to do, not being able to do small things is devastating to my ego. Not being able to do a 10lb single leg curl is someone embarrassing to myself.

I’m very lucky I have the new job at kink which keeps me busy and challenged. If I were idol to sit and dwell on all these things I can’t do, I would go mad. I’d like to say that I’m a warrior and I would tough it out but to be honest this is hard and if I wasn’t forced to keep my mind off of the rehab when I wasn’t working on rehab, I’d be really depressed.

I’m going to jot down what I’m doing for PT, this is more for my own reference down the line if I ever come back to this to see how I handled every thing

I wake up and stretch my knee with it levitated ( leg straight) and let gravity ease the leg into a 0 degree extension. I must hold this for 15 minutes. If you’ve ever done bondage and have been “forced” to stay in a position for any amount of time, you can relate to how annoying this is then add the sever pain of a leg doing what it does NOT want to do. I then do pretty much every leg stretch you can imagine.

3 sets of 10 step ups

3 sets of 10 step downs.

3 sets of 10 “clam shell” with band hip adductors

3 sets of 10 laying face down tighten butt, leg raises backwards

3 sets of 10 quad flexed, straigh let facing up leg raises

on a exercise ball, shoulders on ball, hips up( not allowed to droop) calf raises 3 sets of 10

on exercise ball, single leg raises 3 sets of 10

standing- single leg calf raises 3 sets of 10

single leg half squats 3 sets of 10

3 sets of 10 single leg leg presses

3 sets of 10 single leg laying down leg curls

Note: all single leg exercises are performed on both legs, just one leg at a time

25 minutes on a bike

25 minutes on a stair master

This takes me about 2-3 hours to complete.

after PT is done, I hit upper body weights. I work out different muscle groups each day. I’m excited that I finally was able to do a pull up today, I wasn’t able to do them recently because i was putting torque on my hamstring in a weird way. I am back to being able to do most upper body exercises without any pain. I’m greatly excited that I am able to do the stair master and bike as cardio. It’s not my preferred method of cardio but who cares I’ll take it.

So there it is. I don’t expect much to change in the next 6 weeks except maybe the weights that I’m adding to any of the exercises. I will not get permission to run until may. I wont be able to wrestle for a while 🙁 it’s a slow process.

Thank you for the comfy socks. I love em  xoxo

I love it…and I love flexing my muscles in super sexy, classy dresses

Thank you

xoxoxo